Thursday, November 18, 2004

Fast food, slow minds

This is a free customer service idea for any managers in the fast food restaurant industry. Train your order taking staff to NOT say the words "The [insert food item here] doesn't come with [insert condiment here]" unless the customer asks to have that item.

A little background information...

I don't like the Terrible Threesome of condiments: ketchup, mustard and mayonaisse. I don't understand why someone would want to take a perfectly good hamburger or chicken sandwich and lather it in one, two or (yeck!) all three of these unholy "sauces". I realize that I am in the minority here, but I can't stand them. Since different restaurants put different combinations on different sandwiches, it is a little difficult to keep track of when ordering. For example, Jack in the Box puts mustard and ketchup on their burgers, while BK puts ketchup and mayo. Chicken is usually pretty easy, because most places only put mayo on chicken. But you do have to be careful, sometimes they will sneak a honey mustard or some-other-mustard in on you. So I have developed an ordering system that usually works pretty well. I just order the sandwich and say "no mustard, mayo or ketchup." This is a perfect way to avoid any mixups on my part (like the time I had to throw away an Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box because I forgot they put mustard on it.)

Here's my complaint (you are still with me aren't you?)...

I go through the drive through and order: "Whopper meal, no mayo, mustard or ketchup, onion rings instead of fries, Coke to drink." I try not to be one of those clueless people who pull up to the speaker and act like they've never heard of McDonald's, much less ordered food by talking to a big plastic menu. I get the "So you want a Whopper meal with no mayo, onion or ketchup?" So I clarified. She responds (you may recognize this from above), "The Whopper doesn't come with mustard." Like I'm a total moron for suggesting they might sink to such a level and actually put mustard on their burgers. One of these days, I'm going to say what I'm actually thinking, which is "well, that's one less button you have to push on your cash register." This is not the first time this has happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

If anyone from BK is reading this, I have one question. Why, oh why, did you make the Spicy Tendercrisp sandwich just a regular Tendercrisp with a spicy sauce? I was ready to try one the other day when I discovered the spicy part is in the sauce. I don't like crap like that on my sandwiches. I had the regular Tendercrisp and it is very good, it would be even better spicy. Take Wendy's example and put the spice in the breading, not the sauce.

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